It seems rushed

I think you need to go back over this. It doesn't seem to have anything to it. There is no dominant tune which all good songs have. The backing music you have displayed is really good.

These mistakes are mine alone -BRILLIANT!!!

When it comes to music I'm a tough critic. I'm not particular fan of this type of music. When I first started to listen I couldn't stop. I kept on listening and the song got better and better. We must give alot of credit to the artist for the exellent tune on the keyboard. I'd honestly expect to hear this on the radio.